I was reflecting recently on some recent experiences (mainly bad) and the role communication, or lack of it, affects our every day lives.
We communicate with each other all the time. There’s even a phrase that says “you can’t not communicate”. From work to home, as part of being an ‘intelligent’ race, we communicate through language with each other.
And yet, as adults, there are so many of us that cannot communicate effectively. Time and again we either don’t communicate at all, leading to bad outcomes, or we think we’re communicating when, in fact, we’re talking but not actually communicating anything.
What is communication? Well, according to the oxford English dictionary communication is “the activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings or of giving people information”. It is true by that definition therefore, you cannot not communicate as a human being. Either through words, actions, behaviours, inflections etc, you always communicate something.
The question is, why are we so bad at it? And more specifically, are we bad at communicating what we mean or feel, or are we bad at hearing and understanding what someone is communicating?
Time and again we see examples where people (either at work or at home) have gotten themselves into an issue because of a lack of or a miscommunication. If we/they had just been clearer, or stated at all that X was the case, then Y would never have happened.
I know it is easier said than done, but sometimes the simplest fix to a problem is to just communicate that it is a problem in the first place. And yet, we don’t. Communication is everywhere and yet on the things that matter, so many of us don’t communicate it. Why, because of the communication in our heads. The chats we have with ourselves, consciously or subconsciously. Those chats that tell us not to tell someone when we love them, or to tell them that everything is fine when it isn’t. Or even to tell someone we are angry at them when in fact we simply fear losing them.
So what is my point here? What am I trying to say? I think what I am trying to say is that we need to communicate more effectively. Remember what communication is for and remember that you won’t get what you want from another person without communicating effectively. We aren’t a race of psychics therefore words and actions have power and meaning. Take a moment to remember that when you’re facing something, anything, with an important person to you (professionally or personally). You never know, it may just save you from turmoil.
